Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in CassSmith's LiveJournal:

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Friday, April 18th, 2008
7:42 am	What Your Taste in Chocolate Says About You ( Read more... ) (Comment on this)
Monday, April 14th, 2008
9:55 pm	Blood Ties Having now finished watching all of Blood Ties at Lifetimetv and pining for what seems to be the loss of Henry (we can always hope he comes to his senses). I've moved on to what it originated from and will be hunting down the books by Tanya Huff, The Blood Books. Hopefully that can fill some time until I can get season 1 & 2 on DVD, hopefully until season 3 is produced and *fingers crossed* it gets accepted onto Australian networks. The promotion campaign that Lifetime followed was really successful, not just targetting the US but targetting the net worldwide with the item find game version of Blood Ties which is what introduced me to the show. Current Mood: hopeful (Comment on this)
Monday, March 31st, 2008
7:38 am	Happenings Well lets see, some would kick me for not having posted for so long, so I guess I should update hehe. Socially The situation with RLC and the Dom I mentioned never really worked out. We had some wonderful times but the situation that was happening within his house at that time prevented me from joining, so instead I joined Mistress Hexy in House of Os which worked until she took the company of another from another house... one day she just moved on, leaving me behind. The Dom that I'd mentioned, one day just started talking to me again, no explanation, no nothing but I'm just glad to have him back at least as a friend. Actually recently I've noticed a lot of good TV of late, we only watch the good stuff so we barely end up watching :P Unfortunately it seems as soon as one comes, the show ends up axed :( The latest I'm watching is a PI/Vampire show called Blood Ties. As its not available yet here in Australia I'm forced to watch via the Lifetime TV site which I'm glad to say has EVERY episode made, available to watch, as long as you can stand their ad breaks and resizing at every break. Henry Fitzroy, the 400+ yr old vampire actually reminds me a lot of an old friend, that its prompted us to get back in touch with. Now the one that's stepped back into my life, is one that I thought highly of when we last hung around together and someone I still look on fondly. I remember some times we had together and kinda wish things had worked out differently back then and/or things could pick back up, but with the circumstances the way they are I doubt that's possible, from his side, although a girl can wish can't she ;) Although I don't know how open his other half's mind is, so I might be wrong. One way or another, I at least want the friendship back, hell things really didn't go far past that the first time, despite at least one of the two sides wishing it would. Work I was offered a job within RLC as a guide but it just wasn't for me, I ended up leaving within a month due to disorganization (these things tend to happen with betas, I went through one beta and forming of a team, I don't feel I can again, at least at this stage in my life) Play We're still in World of Warcraft, Cenarion Circle. We had ventured to EQ2 for a time due to boredom/lack of content having already reached lvl cap on 2 characters and having max crafting. All that remained were raids. Which weren't happening due to a form of disinterest (they said they wanted to go but would either turn up late or not at all and god forbid you expect notice..... no they were happy to assure 9 other people were stuck up shit creek without a paddle) don't get me wrong, legit stuffs and emergencies are understandable, but if you have a commitment to be somewhere and you cant show, fucking tell the people you agreed to be there with, especially if they're counting on you being there. One its easier to find a replacement, although replacing a main tank or main healer, at times can be a royal bitch, more notice means more success at getting a competent replacement. And dailys.... Now I don't know about you, but to me doing the same thing, day in day out is fucking boring, you need SOME variety. Due to a few reasons I had switched WoW down to "crafting and assisting Lup" for those that don't recognize the name Lup, that would be my long time other half Ian. I couldn't stand the drama that yet again folded our raid group and actually had a damn good reason to avoid the drama as I'm now expecting again (due 24 June) and have recently miscarried twice, I believe due to the MASSIVE amounts of drama thrown my way during the start of the pregnancies. I seem to be back in WoW full time now with Lup, we got the raid going again, thanks to Lup who's now arranging the raids, now if only would only be allowed to raid lead which he was asked to do. The issue there is the guild leader is coming with us and keeps taking over the running of the raids and is *yet again* turning into a "Negative nancy" We're doing new content for the group and raid and its almost like he expects to one shot every boss or at least take one down per venture in, new or otherwise. I guess it comes from now having Karazhan on farm (almost.... 2 nightbane kills, I'm not yet willing to call it farm). The guild has changed a lot and its a completely new raid since the last time we went to Zul'Aman and downed bear boss, which wasn't easy even back then and we sure as HELL didn't one shot him, going back in it seems we're expected to improve on last time (just after ZA was added) with a completely different group. All he keeps saying is "we were under geared" and complaining we're not getting anywhere fast. FYI only 2 people (his girlfriend included who he INSISTS comes) are still in greens, most are in epics. To keep on track with WoW we've created a "To do list" and found we still have a lot to do crafting/farming wise and there's always getting our epic mounts via dailys (with 2.4 there's now more variety) and we have 2 other characters each almost at 70 (53 and 60) in fact, while I've been gone, Lup has managed to get another character, mostly solo, to 70, leaving him with 3. With Wrath of the Lich King around the corner we're wondering how many 70s we'll actually have when the cap is raised to 80. 70 to 80 doesn't seem much but if 60 to 70 was any indication, its not that easy a task. Current Mood: nostalgic (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Sunday, July 8th, 2007
4:20 pm	The best thing that happened or another downward spiral *sigh* I'm feeling alone, out on a branch, longing to be at someones side and unable to. BACKGROUND - Weeks ago now, while dancing at night candys, admirers coming and going, I noticed a dark figure, very well presented, just lingering and watching, didnt really say much. This intrigued me, I opened up his profile and found he was a involved with one of the BDSM houses, one of the Doms from Rips house. This peeked my interest as I've also been involved in that lifestyle, I am submissive by nature and my greatest joy is making those I'm with happy, with almost no regard to how, if it pleases my Master I will try. One day, a girl I knew, Rips SessyKitten had asked me to pass a message on to him, I was very nervous about this, this person was someone that I'd been admiring from a distance. Overall I'm a rather shy person, I will talk to people in a group environment or if they are friendly towards me, however I'm not one to approach someone myself, maybe its my cancer heart and the fear of rejection. Anyhow..... when I saw him come in that night, as he had been almost every night, I timidly approached, excusing myself and letting him know that I had a message for him and proceded to pass on the warm loving embrace and passionate kiss, yes I was out of my depth but being in his arms was strangely comforting, he thanked me saying loved those types of messages. Me being me, I parted, wishing those were from him to me but *shrug* I'd take his warm embrace and hot kisses even if it *were* a message. Day after day I looked for him but didnt see him again much after that, time to time I saw him wander in. This must have been not long after DarkFyreEyes released me so he could be with his love SableBlu, to further that relationship. So I was without a Master but not being one to approach people I didnt further it at this time and tried filling the void with many other types of relationships, all which failed. One I persued due to his love of scratching and biting, so we had that in common, I found he was taken though *sigh* The next was a very sweet lesbian girl, after lots of ups and downs we called it quits on the fact I had an offline relationship with a guy and she was uneasy about any involvement around men. Going through a huge downer, I was approached by Tenebrae, one of those "random nightcandy pms" I thought the worst but no, he'd actually noted my interests and had similar ones, Ten *wasnt* one of the standard guys, his first few sentences didnt include, hey, lets go get a room.... *ugh* but he was one of the sweetest guys I'd met, after a few days Ten warmed to me and asked me to be his but explained he wouldnt be able to be in much due to work. While Ten was away and even when I was with him, I noticed that something was lacking, I recalled the same feeling when I was with the girl also. I hadnt had a Master for over a month, my mind returned to the dark mysterious warm figure from night candy's I hadnt seen him in ages, so what ran through my head was "where is he hiding? could it be hes not been in? why havent I seen him?" After a few days more of not seeing him I took a leap, I decided well if I wanted to find him, the best place would be in the BDSM dim so I ventured there.... One of the first people I saw *was* exactly who I was looking for, the one I'd admired so much, night after night in nightcandy's but being who I am well...... I couldnt bring myself to pm him, well not until Charm had suggested I talk to him about how to gain a Master or Miss Mikki... I'd been told to talk to him, I had something to say.... *smile* We talked about finding one and I stammered over the fact that the Master I wished was actually he himself, we discussed it and he asked I join both he and Miss Mikki to discuss Freedom House. He mentioned at the end of the meeting that if I had as much respect for his collar when I was accepted to Freedom House then I could ask again. Days passed and I waited impatiently, I even had a friend in FH ask openly whether I was a member of FH and why I hadnt yet been collared *smile* This started the ball rolling and it was to be voted on next FH meeting. My impatience likely got me into a spot though and after being accepted into FH I was asked to wait a week before requesting the collar if I still wish it. That was two days ago now. I've had a few magical moments with him since I've shown interest from seeing a beastial side of him to a goodnight that felt like it would never end. Today has to be one of the hardest days I've ever faced. None of my messages have been replied to whatsoever, not even a kiss and he walked through me ignoring a kiss offered :( This is after a promise last night that he would visit me when he was done with business, while I was waiting my extended sister (my immediate sister if given a collar) logged in and... well.... understandibly he was off with her, considering she couldnt stay long and shes barely in. I'm now left wondering if I've done something wrong or if we're facing more world bugs and he truely cant see my chat. *puzzled* If I've done something wrong I wish he would tell me and a way to remedy it. Current Mood: blah Current Music: Within Temptation - Stand my ground (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Tuesday, June 26th, 2007
7:23 pm	My love and bane Having been in RLC, the greatest community I've found thus far, for a whole month, I've managed to go through two bad relationships. First DarkFyreEyes leaving to persue an offline relationship which I know I couldnt have given him then CelticDreams who I still dearly care about having only just found out about being replaced today. So much for allowing people freedom, apparently freedom means that you dont care. In my eyes in a way freedom, especially after having a really possessive girlfriend is a sign of caring and respect, respect for a persons freedom to be who they are, if they want to be with others, so be it, if they dont, they just dont. If she wished to close the relationship and keep me to herself, I would have gladly left it just as Lup and Celtic. Current Mood: sad (Comment on this)
Monday, June 4th, 2007
2:25 pm	Confusion reigns Men always say they dont understand women. I dont understand men it seems, especially this one. In my mind, if you like someone you want to spend time with them, depending on how much you like them you want to spend differing amounts of time with them. This doesnt have to be at the detriment of friends. You go out of your way to include that person in your life, whether it be involving them in whatever social activities you're doing or introducing them to your friends, no matter standing between the two of you. If you need time to yourself, just say so, hell we're not going to bite your head off, we all need time to ourselves from time to time. It appears my views and that of my boy are different, I dont know why. People need to remember that communication is what holds everything together. (Comment on this)
Saturday, June 2nd, 2007
3:00 pm	Work and Play I'm really hoping that I can still get to Gencon next year the reason being that WOTC appears to think its cheaper to employ 2 Americans rather than 1 Aussie due to the fact that yanks can and are paid sweatshop wages in most cases and Australia will not allow companies to do so. Those that wish to backstab me this time, I'm no longer on staff, I havent really broken NDA, so go screw yourselves! I dont care if you're ex staff or currently kissing up to a certain person you did before, I'm not interested in your petty little games. That being said many things have changed, I now have more time on my hands and I might have found a new cyber home for work and play. Truth of the matter is I no longer played Magic Online or had a vested interest in the community. Although no matter which system it is I'm always one that will step up to help if help is wanted but it is better if its a system that you believe in and love. When you move on, you find out who your *real* friends are, those that keep in contact, which of all I worked alongside equals about 1 out of 150 or so (current). Every single person that I worked alongside have my IM yet those that I try talking to either are too busy or just *arent* around. I agree on my Masters recent post of late about 2 faced friends. RLC is a change for me, a rather big change, especially if I'm to join the staff. The change is so drastic that I barely even touch MMORPGs anymore I'm too busy partying normally with my Master. When I was involved with GamePipe there were some "adult" events I was involved with but I was uneasy, I think moreso for the case of the type of site it was, it wasnt an "adult" site it was a free play casino. Something about the tag "adult" of a program puts me at ease with doing "adult" events in there. Back at GP I was involved with promotional events, I'm unsure what I'll be looking into with RLC. Yes I mentioned my Master, I have a most adorable considerate attentive Master I recently picked up with, hes decided at this moment to allow me my freedom as his sub but I'm sure the time will come in the future that we'll visit the possibility of collaring. He for some reason believes I'll be unable to avoid straying in the environment RLC has, I beg to differ but time will tell. Tommorrow hes escorting me to the Prom, I'm at a loss of what to wear though so its window shopping time for me. I cant wait! Love you Scott <3 Miss you baby Current Mood: bouncy (Comment on this)
Monday, March 26th, 2007
1:28 am	GenCon Australia Well today was a surprise, I start sifting through old stuff, go searching to find out what old friends are up to and find that my prodding (and others) seems to have paid off. WE HAVE GENCON!!!!! Thank you guys! Theres many things now to work out like whos going, which will include me if its at all humanly possible, I already have my vaction request in. At this point I've stuck out feelers to see if I'm needed to help out at Gencon, either way it seems its a visit to Brizzy, I know of one other that just *may* be coming, all the way from the US, hopefully this will be a good opportunity for us all to catch up, its been so long since I've seen a lot of the roleplaying crowd. Anyone else out there going? http://www.genconoz.com/ Brisbane Convention and Exhibition Centre, Brisbane, Queensland, on the 3rd of July, 2008. Current Mood: ecstatic (Comment on this)
Wednesday, December 6th, 2006
12:13 am	Sickness I'm just a tad touchy, it appears that I might have sleep apnea which would explain late reports and difficulties with day to day tasks. By the end of the day, whether it be 4 hours or 8 hours I just want to collapse and relax, the sooner the better and the additional stress caused by players and staff interaction wouldnt be helping. All I know is I can no longer read a book, which is really harsh with kids, if I do, I end up falling asleep or *very* tired and unable to continue. I believe the only way I manage it at work is hopping between this and that and something else to try to keep my mind active and alert. So at the end of a work day, I just want to get out and relax, I cant stand a minute more, so I take a break, get lost in what I'm doing and end up late. I'll be going for a sleep assessment asap, if that involves time off work, well my health comes first, I've put work before myself for years now and it *has* to stop, my health and well being are more important and *if* they find a cure to the tiredness I'm sure I'll be *much* more productive in the end. (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Monday, December 4th, 2006
5:48 am	WoW Well Kindring, our old guild leader is back, kinda and we're reforging The Silver Hammer. His plans are to start back on Molten Core again, whether that be immediately or gearing people up first we'll soon see. Although my loyalties now lie with Soul Reckoning, when I have the time, I'll be raiding with The Silver Hammer, if not needed for Molten Core, with Kareya or otherwise with an alt from The Silver Hammer. (Comment on this)
Thursday, October 26th, 2006
10:45 am	Well I finally pinned Celarius down. Its as I feared, I got the "lets be friends" talk. I do understand hes *VERY* busy but I had hoped that our time together meant *something* to him and something that he'd like to persue at the times he did have time. Things whirlwinded on me and it appears Cel got spooked, I sort of do understand, Lup was the same when he found out I was expecting, I didnt really see him for a year after that, the important thing is he returned to his daughter and I, I'm just glad Nishan was around for us. On that history, its possible that Celarius will refind why he was first attracted to me and return, but I'm not holding my breath, due to our commitments it will likely be a long way away *if* it does happen. Current Mood: crushed Current Music: Vengaboys - Sha la la & Vengaboys - Forever as One (Comment on this)
Tuesday, October 24th, 2006
2:43 am	*sigh* men... what can you do... you become attached, then they disappear, in this case real life takes away from virtual life, its times like these that I wish I could just be there, theres no worries then of someone logging in to see you or even of talking to someone to find out its not them at all, just someone assuming the identity for that day. If I were there, he wouldnt be going to bed cold and he wouldnt be as stressed (hopefully) I would love just to cuddle up with him. Instead I remain here wondering how he slept, wishing that all the stresses would go and we would be allowed time together. Where oh where to you hide this evening my love, are you back to the labs? Oh to be shipped away to a secluded spot with no stresses or pressures of society, just for the day, you spoiled me soooo much and now I long for it back. If I must wait, I will. What little time we spend together, even just chatting, I cherish and it seems you still care dispite being gone. Current Mood: lonely (Comment on this)
Monday, October 9th, 2006
10:21 am	Guilds and Guys Guilds Well forget Terra Nova, the fact that the only people the guild was for were the officers got too much, unless you were in the "in" group, normally officers, you didnt really get a hi or anything, I was about the last one to greet etc. They *were* using automatic greeters and since they were removed, no one really says hi :( It felt as though I were no longer welcome, so I said my goodbyes, which they automatically deemed as an attempt to cause "drama" dispite the fact I'd never done anything of the sort before *Gasp* you cant even say goodbye? No wonder people are afraid of saying hi/bye for the day, they must be causing *drama* I've applied to Soul Recknoning and am currently waiting to see if I've been accepted. Guys When it rains it pours, at least in this case it has. After no, *obvious*, interest from guys, all of a sudden I have about 5 guys chasing me and flirting with me, likely more. I've had to choose, well Garient was a given, he just took a while to spit out the fact he liked me and had me curious for a while. Celarius though, wow, playful, we're spending a lot of time together, I suspect that he'll be a hard one to tame though (not that I want to ;) ), just tonight I had both he and Lup ganging up on me. All I can say is *evil* Oh and Cel, if you're reading this.... *lick* *grin* (Comment on this)
Saturday, August 12th, 2006
9:08 pm	Grouping Well it appears we have *some* high level help for grouping in WoW (aside from raids), although it seems most group stuff happens while I'm working, mostly this seems to be related to the difference with most of my friends in PT or ET. On one hand I wish I were in an Aussie guild so theres more people around at the times I can do stuff and on the other hand I dont want to leave the friends I've made to go play elsewhere and besides in Terra Nova I have the raids. (Comment on this)
7:29 pm	A Blast from the past Wow!!! I couldnt believe it the other day. I've been trying to catch up with someone for AGES, his last email address I had was bouncing and he was never on IM, that I could see, this is someone I'd definitely call a friend and someone I'm very fond of, so I missed him dearly when he left and even more so when I didnt hear from him in years, but I continued on with mostly new people mourning the days when things at work were different, when we would all go do things together after work. After 4.5 years in my job, many I first joined with have left, those I'd consider mentors, work has become more a chore than fun and those left around me are virtually strangers apart from one or two. I think the main reason I stay is my concern for the community and the lack of wanting to work outside the home, although I do think if a similar situation comes up in the future with a game more suited I'll be moving on, its sad because I've helped build what we have today, as I joined soon after the founders and today remain one of the ones longest in the job. All that being said, in a last ditch attempt I pinged his yahoo IM, dispite never seeing him online, just in case he ever did come on. Two weeks later I got a response..... He is alive!!!!! My old flatmate (TSO) and workmate has returned from the dead, although we're not working together we will be playing with each other (WoW etc) although it would be good having him to share a shift with again. Current Mood: ecstatic (Comment on this)
Saturday, July 22nd, 2006
10:44 pm	Updates Well the ISP issues cleared up, we're still waiting to hear about refunds however from the Optus issue. I'm finding less and less time spent in WoW, I think a lot of it has got old and I also have the 60 fallback, thou must have a group or be exiled to PUGs and to hang out in IF. So without groups I spend less time on Kareya unless theres a raid/group arranged. EQ2 Kareya on the other hand is coming along at 26, we're soon to leave Antonica for the Steppes although we're working on a strange scarecrow issue, they're possessed!!!! I'm finding my time is being spent between guilds and games and variety is my life now, Tweeny one night, Karita another, Kratha another, then Kraftsa and maybe EQ2 Kareya. (Comment on this)
Thursday, July 13th, 2006
10:39 pm	Time to move on Well due to our guild master being sent overseas, The Silver Hammer was disolved, although I do understand in light of the recent Heaven & Earth issues. Most of us it seems have gone to Terra Nova http://terranova.guildportal.com/Guild.aspx?GuildID=90643&TabID=778556 Its great to be back with the guys and I think most of my roleplaying life I've been spoilt, I've had the best of groups to play with. Its both sad and grating when you return to an old group to find that one in charge or assuming running responsibilities (Not Clyde) seems to have lost the complete meaning of why they're doing it, we started out as a fun group but the inconsideration and lack of manners leads far away from that goal. I think some people are just getting tired and need a break but you cant make them take a break, they need to realise they're strung too tight on their own before they drive people away. Needless to say we'll be leaving Clyde's Zul Gurub group and moving to the Terra Nova raid from Thursdays from this point onwards. I wish all that remain in Clydes raid the best of luck. I wish to appologise to all those that were on Ventrillo earlier who I told we werent departing, our intention at that point was to stay but today things got *too* under my skin to remain. (Comment on this)
Sunday, June 25th, 2006
12:45 am	Update and ISPs I know some people havent seen me for ages, I've been on IMs still so if anyone wants to chat I'm still alive. I'm still in the same job, although I ditched GamePipe, waaaay too much work to do both and they dont recognise hard work, only butt kissing which I've never believed in. Most of our time these days is spent in one MMORPG or another, WoW (World of Warcraft) - Kareya 60 NE Hunter on Cenarion Circle in The Silver Hammer... http://www.guildportal.com/Guild.aspx?GuildID=32838&TabID=293378 and EQ2 - Still finding myself (likely Kareya 19 HE Fury)on Lucan D'Lere in OoM (Order of Marr)http://eq2players.station.sony.com/en/guild.vm?guildId=365109 being the main games played at the moment. As for ISPs I wish to god that they wouldnt over commit themselves. For those that arent aware, Optus counted on something that didnt come to pass, or at least not when they expected. They were expecting new capacity hosting to come in and have been caught out, meaning that theres now thousands packed on to the Optus Backhaul (ADSL2, over capacity, how far I dunno) with at times lower than 56k speeds from 1500/256 plans. As a stop gap our ISP has stopped/limited all known P2P ports, not a bad idea but *VERY* poorly executed as we now are mostly faced with unplayable games as the ports they have blocked as known P2P are also the ports the update servers use, every SOE game currently is unpatchable by me and I'll be damned if I can work in comfort, I've been getting 5 second to 10 minute lag spikes throughout the day, which is appalling when trying to do any kind of customer support. The current estimated time for fix is by July 7, 2006, I hope to god its fixed by then, I know if its just as bad tommorrow I'll be on that phone quick smart looking for a solution due to the almost complete inability to work.... Current Mood: annoyed (Comment on this)
Sunday, November 21st, 2004
9:15 pm	LOL ok I said I was back last time... I've been rather busy with work etc.. Lets see, whats been happening since my last post... I'm now working 2 jobs, both on the net which I'm glad for and we've moved house since my last post. The move went rather well all bar the internet, which the latest quote for DSL reconnection is 3 months from initial contact with Optusnet... I must say dispite the delay they blame on Telstra (no ports) they have been rather good with the provision of a HIGH hours dial up plan while I wait, without contract. Tali is now 5 and is off to school next year, so we've been off to kindy orientation days. Shes also now minus 1 front tooth with the other 3 loose. Its amazing how quickly they grow up. Gabraelle is now 2 and her vocab is increasing leaps and bounds due to her sisters influence, although I'm not sure that everything shes learning is good :P Eg we've had to reteach her to point as she decided that birding people was a good idea :P Both the boys, Scott and Ian are both ok and wanting to get working on projects, such as a bar built. Now that I've posted this update I guess I should get my butt back into catch up mode, after LOA. (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Thursday, March 18th, 2004
12:44 am	Return Ok, I'm back due to a request from a friend who was supposely missing me. Dunno why :P Lets see whats been happening? I'm being kept very busy at work. I got my schedule changed so I could go back to clubbing and guess what, I didnt go X-P Funds have recently been rather tight. We were adopted by a mother cat an hence now have 3 kittens that have taken up residence, they're SOOOO cute : ) All of about 8 weeks old. Unless something DRASTIC happens it appears I'm going to be unable to make Gencon Indy this year, pity because it appears some of our bosses were looking forward to seeing me there. But NZ comes first (family). At least we're one step closer to getting passports, although it wont be cheap :( I'm hoping to make Indy next year. Now off to play with quizzes. (3 Comments |Comment on this)